Tantrums, outbursts, and big emotions are familiar challenges for many parents, especially those raising children with ADHD. These intense reactions can be overwhelming, not just for the child but also for the parents trying to manage them.
Understanding and supporting your child’s emotional well-being is essential for helping them develop better emotional regulation skills. Here are some key strategies to guide you.
Create Awareness
Emotional regulation starts with awareness—both for you and your child. Recognising when your child is being triggered and how emotions manifest physically can significantly influence your response. Pay attention to your own emotional state, as your reactions often set the tone for your child’s. Noticing physical signs like clenched fists or shallow breathing can signal that your child is beginning to feel overwhelmed. Early recognition allows for timely intervention and helps your child choose a more mindful response.
Take Deep Belly Breaths
Breathing deeply is a simple yet powerful way to calm the body’s stress response. For children with ADHD, who often struggle with impulse control, learning to take deep, belly breaths can help them regain emotional control. One way to make this practice engaging is by using the imagery of a birthday cake. Encourage your child to imagine they are holding a birthday cake in front of them. Ask them to take a deep breath in, smelling the cake, and then slowly blow out the candles with a long, steady breath.
Instead of just instructing your child to breathe, model this behaviour yourself. Sitting next to your child and breathing deeply from your diaphragm can activate mirror neurons in their brain, encouraging them to mimic this calming action. This shared practice can help both of you de-escalate the situation together.
Name and Validate Emotions
Naming and validating emotions is a crucial tool in emotional regulation. When children feel their emotions are acknowledged, they often feel less alone and more understood. Calmly naming the emotion you observe in your child, such as saying, “It looks like you’re feeling frustrated,” helps them to manage that emotion more effectively. Following this with validation, like “I understand why this is hard for you,” creates a sense of connection and support. This approach not only helps to calm your child but also teaches them the importance of emotional recognition and validation.
Practice Positive Expression
Teaching your child to express their emotions positively is essential, especially when they are not in the midst of a meltdown. Regular practice of these techniques can make it easier for your child to access them during stressful moments. Encouraging safe ways to express emotions, such as squeezing a pillow, pushing against a wall, or clenching and unclenching fists, provides an outlet for their feelings. Additionally, guiding them to use words to express their needs, like asking, “Can I have a turn when you’re done?” helps them develop appropriate skills to manage conflicts and emotions.
Identify Triggers
Understanding what triggers both your emotions and your child’s is key to preventing and managing outbursts more effectively. Common triggers might include hunger, noise, frustration, or feeling rushed. Reflecting on the situations that typically cause stress for you and your child allows you to take proactive steps to mitigate these triggers. For instance, keeping snacks on hand can help if hunger is a trigger, or incorporating quiet time can be beneficial if your child is sensitive to noise. Being aware of and addressing these triggers can significantly reduce the frequency and intensity of emotional outbursts.
Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time and practice to develop, especially for children with ADHD. By creating awareness, practising calming techniques, validating emotions, and understanding triggers, you can support your child in learning to manage their emotions more effectively. Your own reactions and behaviours play a crucial role in modelling these skills. With patience and persistence, you can help your child navigate their big emotions and foster a more peaceful, connected family dynamic.
Mirka